Confessions of a Confessor

A counsel I just gave to a penitent earlier this afternoon at the confessional boomeranged to me concerning a most vital reality in the life of the taong-grasa : "what one cannot draw out of the meagerness of his resources, he can compensate and bless others with from out of the abundance of his heart." A humbling thought that jabbed right through my core. One that caught me off-guard. A realization that filled me with remorse as I had been reminded of how I would sometimes find myself occasionally besieged with self-pity, insecurity or even foolish anxiety at the onset of a material want, or whenever I would happen to compare my apparent lack with the other's bounty. I realized this is none other than my vocation staring me at the face.I have no need nor have any reason to be mortified whenever my deliberate choice to be poor makes its stark presence felt. Instead, I must rejoice at all times, but most especially in moments that I cannot boast of anything materially or spiritually, when I am most empty, handicapped and of no import whatsoever. For it is during these moments that I am most dependent on Divine Providence. It is during these times that all that I could offer the other is solidarity and presence. The assurance that I am with him in his want and helplessness; that we are fellow beggars and are both at the mercy of God's and others' magnanimity and generosity. And it is in this predicament that I cannot be other than humble and grateful before God and man.

It is for this reason that I should always be keeping guard of my heart more than anything else. The most important task of a taong-grasa is to maintain the treasures of his heart which are kindness, compassion and mercy. These alone can make him of any worth in being a slave of the Gospel.

Nemo dat quid non habet. One cannot give what one doesn't have. One who does not have even an ounce of kindness, compassion nor mercy, cannot possibly be kind, compassionate nor merciful to others. And these three do not just magically grow from within anyone. They must be planted. They must be had. They can only come from the providential hands of God through prayer, mortification and sacrifice. One can only draw kindness, compassion and mercy from his own wretched state if he himself constantly experience being redeemed and enriched by the kindness, compassion and mercy of the Holy Savior.